This Saturday my family and I adventured down to Los Gatos for a nice family dinner. We were all really hungry so the iffy dinner was sort of a buzz kill. While the overpriced and overcooked texmex dinner was nothing to call home about, the Christian Fundamentalists are worthy of mention. Saturday was my first encounter with Christian fundamentalist street teams and hopefully my last. I was a shark and they were the jets and this was West Side Story. You know the song, “When you’re a jet, you’re a jet all the way, from your first cigarette to your last dying day. When the shit hits the fan…” That is all of the song I know…And yes the shit did hit the fan. I really have never been more scared of religion then that night on that fateful street corner. I was by myself as I was waiting for some friends after my family went home and they approached me, but instead of snapping and singing of Puerto Rico they were spreading religion by instilling the fear of God. I will admit I know nothing about Christian Fundamentalists and I apologize if this blog is factually inaccurate; however, I didn’t feel like reading the Wikipedia page as research (after all I am sure Wikipedia is more incorrect than my biased notions from Saturday nights encounter). Where were we? Oh yes, I was going to get to the flippant phallic remarks!
So while I was waiting for my friends I decided to get a first hand taste of the fundamentalist preaching. I was initially drawn in by their bright and hateful banners that would make John Winthrop proud– However when I neared I was surprised by the large group of high school age kids intensely listening. Obviously since Los Gatos kids are way cooler than Saratoga kids, peer pressure took the best of me and I sat down to listen as well. However listening to Fundamentalists isn’t that cool, your jaw gets tired from gaping in disbelief as you are subjected to pure unadulterated I don’t even know what! Not to mention, the only thing worse than a Christian Fundamentalist is a Christian Fundamentalist being egged on by a group of teenagers (get ‘em while they’re young!). The lead guy, the one standing on the soap box, was so riled up he got to the point when he started insulting everyone around him. Jimmy needs a hair cut; Sue isn’t as pretty as the other girls; Jenn never walked on water; Bobby has a small penis! Yes, he directly commented on Bobby’s penis. (Names have been changed to protect “Bobby’s” self esteem).
But all that doesn’t matter, “Jesus doesn’t judge you, he loves you”.
Crazy phallic Fundamentalists!
