So I Had an Overdose…

This past week I overdosed, it was a scary happening and it was completely unintentional and not self-inflicted. I had an overdose of stucco. Welcome to Orange County where everything is fucking stucco! While I have nothing against stucco, there is no need to defame perfectly normal structures with embelished stucco facades to revel the 7 ancient wonders. As a son of an architect I understand my taste in structure is more astute then the average teenager, but wherever you go in the OC the houses, the grocers, the mailboxes, the doghouses, the gates, heck even the bus stops were stucco… It just was too much.

I was so overwhelmed I had to run and hide in our rental house and whimper. Tragically my safe haven happened to be an IKEA model show home, essentially an internal reflection of stucco facades gone wild! There was not a single item in the house that was not from IKEA. Every towel, lamp, bookshelf, area rug, cabinet, sink, mattress, and piece of artwork was from IKEA. I will admit I respect a good Billy bookcase or Lack wall shelf but living in a house where everything is IKEA was a terrible experience. That being said I am now very familiar with their Fall collection, may I suggest the Numbra* vase? Or perhaps the Borsk* cutlery organizer? Just whatever you do, don’t sleep on their mattresses!

I have crawled a few images off of the internet to show you this stucco epidemic ravaging through the OC. It’s okay, everything will be alright…

*I can not promise these fictionalized items are authentic IKEA creations. I invented them myself… Not bad, eh?